September

To whoever read that to new me

I didn’t write for a while now it’s already September i wasn’t able cause i didn’t have internet nor electricity i know shocking

My birthday are close and i got a lot to wish to be better look better study better have friends and a lover that is passion about me

I won’t write about the bad things that happen those days but the thing is i did take my vaccine -sirin- i pass out and been taking to the hospital mom said that if i were healthier that wouldn’t happen

In the way there a kid smile to me and been taking by his mom then mom said i look like a Scary shit that she isn’t proud to be mom

Sincerly,

i don’t know

August

To Who ever read this to new me
i wake up and wish i haven’t i did lay on bed for probably 15 mins cursing myself and the world for being around.Things goes as it always do i hate summer cause i can’t wear hoodies and cover myself hide -from what i donnt really now- but i can’t do nothing about it.I read a novel i don’t know why people there find the happy end or meaning to there pain cause i for me they are nothing to fight for and in my life they are a lot of sadness and sorrow much more than my heart can carry.

I saw peoples walking from my room’s window i envy them the energy they got to get out of there room to wear clothes – wish is another reason why i don’t go out- to fight life back to stand again to talkI avoid mirrors for more than 10 days now i hate to look at such a body what a shame it’s indeed the hardest part of a human life social media makes you hate your body you can’t be with the one you love what all sad noveles (such harmet call me by your name and never let me go) take there sadness and sorrow from they all being a part from each other
I’m young but yet i reaaallly wanna just go

Sincerely,adam